One of the fascinating things about the command to love one another is the ease with which some Christians rationalize, or justify, not doing so. Of course, we would never confess to "hating" them; that's a very strong word, and so not Christ-like. Yet ever so often at the root of what we often describe simply as "avoiding so and so", or "I've forgiven them but I just won't speak to them", is a reflection of our inability, or unwillingness, to - by God's grace - agape one another. I've been there, and more than likely, so have some of you. However, if we judge our actions by the Word, the only standard that really matters, how do those actions stand up?
In 1 John 4:20 we read, "If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, cannot love God whom he hath not seen." If you're like me, your mind rebels, "But I don't hate him/her, I really don't!", however through God working on me as I read the Word, I came to realize that the word translated "hate" also means "to detest; to love less". That last part got my attention because what it implied was, paraphrasing John, if I love (agape) God, and love (agape) my brother less, I'm a liar because I cannot unconditionally, self-sacrificially, actively, volitionally, and thoughtfully love God, who I cannot see, and deny my brother, whom I can see, the same love. Does it mean we love others the same way we love God? No, of course not. Jesus made the clear distinction when He said, "Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength ... Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself." In other words, we're to love one another with the highest and purest form of love that can be offered to another human being. It is not a suggestion; it is a divine command.
But what does loving like that mean? A long time ago I read the profound statement, "Loving someone is wanting what is best for that person, even if that best does not include you." That's hard for most of us to accept because our human nature is more selfish in its approach. Can we truly want what is best for someone else if it means watching on the sidelines as they pursue or achieve that best? Sure we can. We would do well to remember Jesus' words, "This is my commandment, that ye love one another, even as I have loved you. Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends" (John 15:12, 13). At the heart of that command is self-sacrifice, one of the attributes of agape love. If we desire the best for ourselves, we should desire no less for our brother, even if that best has nothing to do with us.
As we close our look on this theme, I'm struck by Jesus' next statement - so profound in meaning, yet one we could easily overlook; "Ye are my friends, if ye do the things which I command you" (v.14). Friends, IF ...
Are you a friend of God? As you ponder the question, bear in mind who defines the terms for the friendship. He does.
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