When was the last time you told God how you really felt? Not the last time you spoke to Him, but the last time you bared your soul and emotions? It seems every time someone is asked "How are you?", a "I am fine" or something similar is guaranteed. We have become very good at masking our feelings, our inner selves; not wanting anyone to know what is really going on with us. Unfortunately, we take that into our relationship with God as well. Sure we talk to Him at different times, but how many of those prayers were petitions for things on our laundry list of needs? If we didn't have physical and/or material needs we have to rely on Him to meet, would we still have a reason to talk to God?
Yet, even as we try to put our best selves on public display, in the quietness of our thoughts we are intimately acquainted with our fears, our anxieties, and all the things that perplexes our minds. We know who we really are, and in the event that we have "forgotten", so does God. There is nothing to be gained by hiding our innermost feelings from Him because there is nothing about us that surprises Him. For most of us, we are not always on top of the mountain spiritually or otherwise. Despite our best efforts the challenges of life not only wear on us, they also wear us down. We doubt ourselves, we doubt our faith, and if truth be know, we doubt God.
These thoughts came to mind as I read Jeremiah's, "But thou, O LORD, knowest me: thou hast seen me, and tried mine heart toward thee" (12:3, KJV). In context, these words are a part of his prayer to God as he questioned "Why do bad people have it so good? Why do con artists make it big?" (v.1, The Message), questions we ourselves may have pondered at different times, but we can borrow his words because of the timelessness of the truths espoused. So if there is nothing about us that God doesn't know, doesn't it make sense that the next time we talk to Him we tell it like it really is?
That is the kind of relationship He wants us to have with Him. David writes, "What you're after is truth from the inside out" (Psalm 51:6, The Message), and it really doesn't matter what that "truth" is. It will not frighten or intimidate God who invites us to come boldly into His presence and not be ashamed. The next time you prepare yourself for prayer, resolve to come clean and tell Him exactly how you feel. Not only can He handle it, but collectively it is only then that we will genuinely experience His peace standing guard over our hearts and minds (Philippians 4:6-7), and the fullness of joy that comes with being in His presence as He works all things together for our good and for His pleasure (Psalm 16:11; Romans 8:28; Philippians 2:13).
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